By Electra Lashes
Instagram: @electralashes
I think the most common question I get is always regarding my confidence, but this is one thing that everyone should have is sexual esteem so If you’re not as confident about your sex life as you’d like to be, and it can be difficult to feel desirable, sexy, and even happy with your partner/lover/booty call whatever you want to call them. This is a problem as it can take its toll on your relationship, as well as on your self-esteem and happiness in general. Let me help you boost your sexual esteem and get what you want out of your sex life!
Lets start with Adding a new moves to your routine; if your anything like me this is going to be like speaking to a brick wall but self esteem especially sexual esteem really does start with your fitness and how important It is to stay in shape if you want to enjoy great sex. If you’re feeling sluggish or feel like you have no energy adding fitness to your day to day routine is one of the best things you can do for you and your sex life. You can find an exercise video online (yes men can do this too, its called male strippers the ladies love the magic mike stuff these days) so try a sexy dance class or try a few personal trainer sessions both are great options for getting started. I always say when I do more yoga I get the best sex ever as Im flexible, fit and have the best endurance to make things last longer, the breathing and flexibility techniques that yoga can teach you with simple moves that will help increase your stamina and improve overall fitness (and thus boost confidence). Of course, make sure not to overexert yourself; there’s a fine line between physical health and injury prevention. If something hurts, stop! It is much better to stop before it is too late. Above all else, don’t injure yourself. The last thing you need is a loss of confidence because of an injury. Remember: pain is your body telling you to slow down! Listen to it!
Change up positions;
If you and your partner have been doing the same old sexy time dance routine for years, its time to mix it up and change those moves into something more to test the sensors and show them what your really made of. Mixing up your sex positions honestly create so much confidence in the bedroom (maybe not the first time as your sussing it out but the second, third and past that I promise you it does wonders); even if you just varying them from time to time will keep things interesting, which is sure to give both of you a boost in confidence and esteem. If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of resources online that can show you fun ways to spice things up in bed. (Check out Tantra, if nothing else.) The changes don’t need to be drastic—just pick one thing that works best for both of you. Play around with it and try other variations before settling on your favourite. If a position makes either one of you uncomfortable or starts causing pain, scrap it; there are plenty more options out there! In addition to changing up your positions, make an effort to talk dirty during sex. Saying something like I love fucking you or your ass feels so good on my cock could push each of you over the edge and bring feelings of greater sexual fulfilment into play. As always, trust yourself: If a position hurts, stop; if saying something does it for you, let loose. And if neither of these fixes seems to help much...seek professional help! Sex therapy is extremely useful at helping people find new paths toward greater sexual happiness and development through self-exploration and communication skills.
Get rid of common misconceptions There are three major misconceptions surrounding sexual esteem:
1) That sexual esteem is something you’re born with;
2) that all people have an equal amount of it; and
3) that it is static throughout your life. Each of these is false. Sexual esteem, like other areas of self-esteem, can grow or shrink over time and be influenced by our environment.
A key thing to remember when thinking about your sexual esteem is that things aren’t as stable as we may think they are.
Remember Our past experiences, beliefs, and encounters inform how we feel about ourselves—sexual or otherwise—right now in a way we often don’t recognize. It isn’t easy to determine just where your sexual esteem stands, but learning more about its intricacies is a good place to start. To give yourself some perspective on where you stand, here are some questions worth considering... How much control do I feel I have over my own body? Do I know what I want sexually? How am I interpreting my partner's actions (or lack thereof)? Am I clear about what exactly turns me on? What do I say no to sexually? If someone asked me for advice regarding sex, would I know what to say? Have others told me that my skills at sex make them happy? Can I confidently identify whether I am attracted to another person? Because so many of us never address issues concerning sexual esteem head-on, it can be difficult to answer such questions honestly. But addressing your sexual esteem head-on and then making strides toward improving it will pay off both in terms of your sexuality and quality of life overall. Keep in mind that figuring out how comfortable you are with sex should not be looked at from a goal perspective—there is no specific endpoint you need to reach, there's nothing wrong if you're bad at talking dirty or giving blowjobs or having anal sex if those activities simply don't interest you.
Stop Comparison;
Comparison is one of our most destructive habits most people have its social media that makes it 1 billion times worse than what it needs to be. Every day, we come across people who seem to have it all together (really they don’t)—and when we do, we feel a sense of hopelessness and inadequacy. The truth is that everyone is struggling with something. Maybe their life isn’t quite as glamorous as it appears on Instagram; maybe they don’t always sleep well at night; maybe they struggle to make ends meet month after month. Our biggest struggles are rarely apparent from what’s shown on social media—so why compare? Instead, strive to be inspired by others. Lift them up instead of tearing them down. And remember: You can never compete with someone who doesn’t exist in real life anyway! Sexual esteem has very little to do with how often you have sex, or how great it is each time you do. It's about embracing your own identity and finding ways to love yourself more deeply than you ever thought possible. If your sex life hasn't been satisfying lately, perhaps consider working on building your sexual esteem instead of immediately turning to pharmaceuticals or surgery for help. After all, even if those other solutions sound appealing right now (because they're easy), where will you turn once those stop working? But if you work on developing your sexual esteem and learn techniques for becoming more sensitive and attentive during intimate moments...well then there'll be no need for any of those quick fixes at all!
Remember to Love yourself for who you are;
Self-love is extremely important, especially when it comes to our sex lives. When we love ourselves and feel positive about who we are, our sexual esteem becomes a source of happiness for us. We feel confident in our own skin; thus, making us more likely to accept compliments from our partners and view them as empowering rather than degrading. Studies also show that people with high sexual self-esteem have more satisfying sex lives than people who don’t value themselves sexually. So, learn to love yourself now! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas—and if you’re newly single, not getting laid isn’t something you want to repeat on your next weekend getaway. But where should you go if you want to let off some steam? Well, luckily there are several destinations around America geared toward helping individuals relax and satisfy their carnal desires—and they aren't all seedy motels with hourly rates! These days there are plenty of top-notch hotels offering space and services tailored toward physical needs. It's time to travel like a (single) VIP. This guide will teach you how to do just that by highlighting five great cities designed for letting loose. Plus, discover whether Miami or Dallas offers better odds of finding random hook-up’s along with hot hotel recommendations for each city. It’s time to start planning... Let's begin our journey through America's finest red light districts at number five: Charlotte (North Carolina). Hotel recommendation: The Ritz-Carlton Charlotte Since many modern strip clubs tend to be cheesy, sleazy joints covered in dollar bills and spilled beer—it can be hard sometimes to find those willing participants who know how the gauntlet works while playing cards.
And after all this if your still reading Don’t pressure yourself here’s a reason many people stress out about sex:
They feel under pressure to perform and please their partner. But, don’t! Instead of feeling pressured by societal expectations or by your own lofty goals, accept that sexual desire is a spectrum. If you’re not as interested in sex as you used to be, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you; it just means your levels of arousal are different than they used to be and now fall on a different point of that spectrum. Rather than worry about whether or not you have sex problems, accept where your sexuality lies at present and go from there. You may find that certain types of stimulation make you more aroused. And don’t forget foreplay—it’s essential to a great sexual experience. So take some time to get to know yourself again before jumping into bed with someone else. One surefire way of boosting your esteem is masturbating more often! Enjoying pleasure alone (even if only in thought) can do wonders for what you do when you're part of a couple—after all, self-awareness leads to self-confidence. Do not set high expectations and then beat yourself up when you can’t meet them You’re a great partner and your significant other knows it. It’s true that every now and then you might be a bit more tired than usual, but you certainly don’t want to make love every night, nor do you want to appear as if sex is something you can get at any time. If your lover sometimes isn’t in the mood, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with him or her — or with you for that matter. When someone loves another person sexually, she/he won't force him/herself upon him/her even when he/she wants it; he/she will wait until he/she feels like making love. Then only has sex become an act of love, not just an act of passion. After all, you wouldn't eat everything that's on your plate. Sometimes you simply feel full after eating a little morsel. The same goes for physical intimacy: Be aware of what's going on inside of you and around you, so that each time makes sense; otherwise miscommunication can cause arguments between lovers. Unfortunately some people equate great sex with climaxing...that orgasm = good sex...but it doesn't mean both things are one in the same! Good sex happens when partners give AND receive equally...and no where else does mutuality play out better than between couples who satisfy one another emotionally first!
Before I wrap this is up STOP STOP STOP … Don’t overthink things, It’s pretty easy to mess up a sexual experience simply by being too caught up in your head. But we don’t think it needs to be that way. When you focus on what you’re feeling, as opposed to how your partner looks or smells or acts, you reduce anxiety and make yourself less self-conscious, boosting confidence and resulting in better sex—for both of you. It also makes it easier for guys: Worrying about performing well doesn’t do much good when all you can think about is how hot she is and whether or not she likes your body (which has very little to do with actual sex). Letting your stress go will improve things for everyone involved. I promise.