Hi there! Welcome to my first column. I am Electra Lashes from down under. Based in Rockingham, Western Australia, I am a teacher, a burlesque dancer, a principal and an enthusiastic sexologist in training. In the light of day I come across as the girl-next-door type, all fresh and wholesome, but under the cover of night, my wild child comes out to play. All bets are off and any topic is open for discussion. When it comes to honest conversation regarding sexual taboos, I am often the first one to start up the chats, I love to hear people's deepest, darkest desires.
Down to business! This is my first article in a series and I hope to delve into all the deliciousness of sexual fantasy and sexual facts as we explore together. Let's share those naughty, little secrets. Pull out the blindfolds and the rope, fasten the screws in to the walls, we are going to talk about various sexual fetishes. We are not going to linger on the 50 shades of Gray type fantasies, but are going to delve deeper into the world of BDSM and other sexual or erotic fetishism.
What is fetishism exactly? The dictionary describes it as “a form of sexual behaviour in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.”. We define it as being sexually aroused by something which may or may not be out of the ordinary, and who defines what is normal anyway? In the world of fetishism, there is a saying “your kink is not my kink”, which means people are allowed to fetishize anything they want, and their kinks are respected by others, even if other people do not understand or agree with the fetish. We are going to look at a very broad spectrum of the more common fetishes that exist out there, although this is a far from exhaustive list :
Foot fetish : This is one of the most common fetishes out there and involves being aroused by feet, and can also include being aroused by feet wearing shoes or stockings. This can be sexualised by licking and sucking on the feet and even using feet to masturbate someone else. This fetish is often incorporated into BDSM and may include foot worship, with or without sexual gratification. This can be a fun fetish if both partners are in to it and can go from playing with feet under the table, to foot massagers to a lot more.
Latex : This is another fetish that is up there in the list. This fetish normally involves wearing latex or being turned on by seeing someone else wearing latex outfits. Latex is skin tight and form fitting, so it is easily understood in some aspects, but there is also a bit more to this fetish such as being aroused by balloons, including popping them. This is another fetish that can be fun, albeit a bit pricey for all involved and is also common in the BDSM community.
Body Piercing : This is not necessarily a fetish for many people, for some it is just a way of expressing themselves, while others become aroused by piercing parts of their bodies. Piercings can include the nipples, tongue, face, genitals, bellybutton and more. The arousal obtained from the piercing can include the person being pierced enjoying the adrenalin rush obtained from the pain sensors in the body, the feel of the metal in their skin, the enjoyment their partner gets out of it or even just the way it looks on their bodies. For the person doing the piercing, it could be an extension of domination over the other person, a visual appeal or they may enjoy licking or pulling on the piercing during sexual play. This one also calls for consent from both parties and can offer quite a dramatic visualisation of submission or just the enjoyment of poking holes in each other.
Voyeurism : This fetish dates back as far as the first peeping tom that there ever was. Voyeurs enjoy watching other people do it. For many voyeurs, there is the obvious porn or sex chat sites available on the internet, which gives the solitary voyeur an outlet for his or her fetish. Other voyeurs prefer the real thing and might arrange to join swinger groups or meet up with people in the local fetish community to watch others have sex up close and personal. Lucky for the voyeur, there are exhibitionists, that love being watched! So if you manage to hook up some exhibitionists with a voyeur or two, they are all in for some hot, sexy times!
Cross-dressing : This is also called 'sissyfication' when men dress as women although it can go both ways. This basically refers to people deliberately dressing up as members of the opposite sex, men wearing lingerie, panties, dresses and other feminine clothes or women wearing boxers and a men's suit. The fetish is more common amongst men, and is often seen in gay communities. For most people, the fetish is about the feel of the fabric or how it makes them feel, and for others it is the adrenalin rush that comes from the fear of being caught when wearing 'forbidden' items of clothing. For women it is sometimes a feeling of power from dressing in a more traditionally masculine role. Whatever the reason, cross-dressing is becoming an increasingly popular fetish, with the advent of internet shopping allowing a lot more people to enjoy this fetish to the fullest.
Furries or Pet Play : While these are actually two rather different fetishes, they are often lumped together in the same category. Furries like to wear furry animal costumes while having sex and some enjoy solo sex with plush toys as partners. The costumes are often designed with holes in various places to allow access while not needing to remove the outfits. Pet-play on the other hand involves people being made into 'pets', with or without any costumes and may or may not involve sexual activity. Human pets are often puppies, kittens and ponies that are trained in pet like behaviour to mimic what the actual pet would behave like normally, such as potty training, obedience training and more. This type of play often falls under the BDSM fetish as well as the pet is often a submissive to a dominant master/mistress.
BDSM : This fetish is vast and includes many other fetishes within the borders of this general term. BDSM generally refers to bondage, domination and submission as well as sadomasochism. Bondage is quite obvious and involves enjoying tying someone up or being tied up, but this can also include mummification and many other variations on restraints. Domination and submission and also master/mistress and slave involves one person allowing another to assume a leadership role, whether just for sexual activities, or within the realms of everything in their lives. These types of relationships are consensual in nature and the dynamic changes from relationship to relationship and one couple to another, and may include many other fetishes within this fetish. Sadomasochism involves the inflicting of pain and receiving of pain with erotic overtones. This can be light spankings to caning and even branding. The dynamics of this fetish is also fluid and changes for each individual or partnership.
To say that fetishism is a broad subject would be putting it lightly. There are many sexual and erotic fetishes out there and we have barely even touched on some of the more common ones so far. I do hope that you stay tuned for more as I delve in to the depths of physical and psychological passions and bring you more on the things that get people hot and raring to go! Electra Lashes heading off to see what's new in naughty but nice. See you soon!